Golfers will understand these

Your practice swing is always better than the one you use to hit the ball.

The less skilled the player, the more likely they are to share their ideas about the golf swing.

No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.

Everyone replaces their divot after a perfect approach shot.

A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponent’s luck.

The moment that you think you’ve cracked the game, it sneaks up and mugs you.

The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the centre of a very large tree.

You can hit a two acre fairway 10% of the time and a two inch branch 90% of the time.

If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.

If you play golf as a form of relaxation, how do you ever manage to work?

Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot is actually the beginning of the next group of three.

Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two double bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.

Golf can be described as a lot of walking broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic.

To calculate the speed of a player’s downswing, multiply the speed of his back-swing by his handicap.

There are two things you can learn by stopping your back-swing at the top and checking the position of your hands: how many hands you have, and which one is wearing the glove.

Golf’s law of physics: hazards attract, fairways repel.

If there is a ball on the apron and another in the bunker, your ball is in the bunker. If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint.

A good shot on the 18th hole has stopped many a golfer from giving up the game.

Golf balls are like eggs: they are white, they are sold in dozens and you need to buy fresh ones each week.

It’s amazing how some golfers who never help out around the house will replace their divots, repair their ball marks, and rake their footsteps in bunkers.

If your opponent has trouble remembering whether they shot a six or a seven, they probably shot an eight.